Things White People CANNOT Say

The habits of the african american culture varies from day to day. The way we act can go from civil to crunk in a matter of seconds. The foods we eat range from gourmet delacacies to pig feet. The way we dress goes from pants that are too big that hang around our asses, to pants that are too tight that hang around our asses. We even have names for the way we act. There's the dope boy swag, futuristic swag, black boy white boy swag, and the more complex, super-fruity-crazy swag. Our language is possibly our best asset. No offense whitey, but we just talk a lot cooler than you do. We take everyday words and use them in phrases that baffle white people so much that even when they try to keep up, they fall too far behind and get lost. The place where drug dealers sell illegal substances is a trap. To spend frivolously on top of the line products is to ball. If you're a man and you have a lot of girlfriends, you're a player. If you're a girl and you have a lot of boyfriends, you're a hoe. The way we talk as black people is like morse code; you may hear it, yet not understand it. One word that we use here in the south has faded in and out of our dialect over the years. It is a word used to describe a person, but never a specific type of person. Whether you're male, female, young, old, big, or small, you are subject to be called shawty. It doesn't matter if you're the size of a hobbit, or as tall as yao ming, shawty is a perfect adjective to describe you. But the second it comes out of those thin pink lips of a white person, it just doesn't make sense. I'd rather you call me a nigga, at least that word comes to you naturally. You just sound stupid sayin shawty- look? I don't even sound right sayin that, I'm too light skin for that. Look, I'm telling you this to save you the embarassment, don't say shawty, son, kid, bra, homeboy, patna, you just sound like an idiot. I mean, we may sound like idiots too, but at least not corny idiots. This may not be a word that'll get ya ass beat, but you'll get made fun of so bad you woulda wished you got jumped. So there you have it folks, shawty has been stricken from the white guy dictionary once and for all.